Dream a little dream.

Wanna have a fantastically action packed dream? Try watching the movie 'Law Abiding Citizen' immediately before bed and I'd be willing to bet you'll be tossing and turning, but not for lack of sleep. Although- there is a possibility though that you could be like me, and wake yourself up mid hurl.

I'm not normally an out of body type of dreamer. I can't control my dreams, and I'm almost never able to get back into a dream, despite all my efforts to do so, once I've been woken. Sometimes I do slowly come out of a dream and that allows me the cognitive awareness of reality vs. dream. It puts me right on the edge of coming out of a dream but still being in it and yet knowing that I am in fact dreaming.

For instance, once while inside of a dream I was accidentally given a note from my boyfriend that wasn meant for some other girl. In my dream, more urgent events prevented me from taking a moment to read what the note said. I had placed it on my dresser until I could be alone and really absorb what it said. But I started to come out of my dream before I got the chance to do that. Wanting so badly to see what he wrote to her, I desperately tried to go back to sleep. But I was too stuck in that half awake half asleep mode. So I still envisioned the note on the dresser, but yet knew if I got up to read it, I'd be awake and it would go away. It was crazy maddening.

*Side Note: I ACTUALLY DID mistakenly receive this kind of letter in the mail from my long distance boyfriend. I just couldn't tell you if I got the real letter first and then dreamed about it, or if it was some type of premonition if you will. Even though it's been almost 30 years, you would still think that it would have been such a huge correlating thing that I would remember the order of events. Which is why really, I feel kind of sure that the real letter came after. As though I forgot about the dream eventually and when it happened for real the dream was long forgotten. If the real letter came first, wouldn't I think I knew what the note said? Maybe? Maybe not. What I'd give to have it straight! And that's not the only premonition type dream that I had as a young teenager, so I have to admit it's certainly possible, right?

Anyhoo.

Last night's dream shared the same end of dream lucidity as that one. At the end of the dream, which was full of;  life threatening obstacles, trials,  physical challenges, mind puzzles, gadgets and conspiracy, I had finally succeeded and risen above, and made it home- albeit in barely alive condition. When I finally came to a family member and would be savior, I spit blood just like you see in the movies when people have been through hell and are bleeding internally. But it was a lot of blood. Actually more like spewed blood. Chunky blood. With small white clots of something. But not projectile... not like I was throwing up. Not yet.

It wasn't until my minds eye witnessed this scene pass before it and only after many moments of registering what it had just seen... it reacted the same way one would react if they seen this in real life before them. You might wanna hurl, right? Seems quite reasonable! And that is exactly what my minds reaction was.

What woke me up at 4 am this morning was not the exciting and altogether disgusting dream I'd just had. It was the lurch of my body, as I lay on my back sleeping, trying to heave a cookie toss. There was actually crap in my throat. And I lay there for a panicked 2 minutes holding as still as I could, saying to myself... 'omg, I won't be able to go into work today, oh no! Not if I'm sick. Not if I'm throwing up. If I don't move and don't throw up maybe I will get over it, I can make it pass.'

Tossing cookies all night is the ONLY thing ever in over 20 years that has kept me home from work. So, it's a big fear of mine. I'm a tough cookie, but the thought of spewing in front of coworkers and customers- or any public place, or in front of ANYONE for that matter will make me hide myself away JUST IN CASE if I think I might.

And there in my stillness, trying to be ever so calm, reality slowly came to me; that I had simply had a mental and physical reaction to a visual from my dream. I wasn't sick and I just needed to not lay so flat and maybe clear my throat.

It was all good. No bedside buckets necessary. Another day worked, another few dollars earned.